Wouldn’t it be nice if money really did grow on trees? Since it doesn’t, money ends up being one of the most common things couples argue about—and financial stress is consistently one of the leading contributors to divorce. The tricky part: a lot of couples avoid talking about money altogether, because they don’t want to start a fight, face a hard reality, or feel like they’re asking permission to spend. But money doesn’t have to be a battle. With a little teamwork, it can actually bring you closer.
Below are practical, real-life tips to get on the same financial page as a couple and stop throwing your hard-earned money away. (Quick disclaimer: we’re not financial advisors—these are suggestions from personal experience, so always do what’s right for your situation.)
Table of Contents
Why Money Causes So Much Conflict in Marriage
Money is rarely just about money. It’s tangled up with security, values, control, and how each of you was raised. When couples avoid the subject to keep the peace, small resentments quietly pile up. The antidote is simple (if not always easy): treat your finances as a shared team project, and talk about them openly and often. If money conversations tend to spiral, a few communication tips can help you both stay calm and on the same side.
11 Money Tips for a Stronger Marriage
- Make a budget together—and stick to it. Build it as a couple, and include a realistic amount of personal spending money so there are no excuses when little things come up. New to this? Our easy budgeting tips for couples make it painless.
- Agree on a spending threshold. Decide on a dollar amount neither of you spends without talking to the other first. It might be $50 or $500—whatever keeps you both in the loop. (This is a lifesaver when one of you is a saver and the other a spender—here’s how to tackle different spending habits.)
- Write your financial goals down and keep them somewhere you’ll see them often. Paying off debt? List the balances and cross them off one by one—watching that progress is seriously motivating.
- Share the bill-paying system. Whoever handles the bills should be organized enough that the other spouse could take over if needed. A shared spreadsheet or budgeting app keeps both of you aware of where the money is going.
- Check your accounts weekly. A quick weekly review of your checking and other accounts keeps your budget top of mind—and makes it far easier to stay within it.
- Open a separate savings account that isn’t super convenient to dip into, and give it a fun name like “Vacation Fund” or “Dream House Fund.” A goal you can picture is a goal you’ll actually save for.
- Meet with a financial advisor. Educate yourselves together on saving, investing, and retirement. Many advisors offer a free initial consultation—bring a list of questions and take notes.
- Use the right tools. Budgeting apps and programs make this so much easier. Great options include EveryDollar (Dave Ramsey’s app), YNAB, and Honeydue, which is built specifically for couples. (Heads up: Mint was discontinued in 2024, so if you were using it, it’s time to switch.) See our roundup of the best apps for couples for more finance picks.
- Contribute to retirement every month. Time is the one thing you can never get back, so start now—even $25 a month adds up more than you’d think thanks to compounding.
- Learn from people who do money well. If you have a trusted, financially successful friend or family member, ask what’s worked for them. Most people are happy to share.
- Above all, live within your means. The simplest way to avoid money problems: if you don’t have it, don’t spend it. Credit-card debt hurts far more couples than it helps. Already carrying a balance? Here are the best ways to pay off credit card debt as a couple.
When Money Fights Need Outside Help
If money has become a constant source of conflict—or it’s tangled up with deeper trust or communication issues—it’s worth bringing in support. A financial counselor can help with the numbers, and a couples therapist can help you work through the emotions and patterns underneath the arguments. Getting help early is a sign of a couple that’s fighting for their marriage, not with each other.
More Money Help for Couples
Money is a big topic—dig deeper with these couple-focused finance guides:
- Easy budgeting tips all couples can use
- 5 best solutions for paying off credit card debt as a couple
- How to tackle different spending habits in marriage
- 18 financial tips for when a saver marries a spender
- The best budgeting resources for couples
More Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
Money is just one piece of a thriving marriage. Keep building:
- 60+ best apps for couples (including finance apps)
- Effective communication: ten best tips
- Our best marriage tips
Good luck with your marriage and your money—here’s to making both more than successful! XOXO
Money & Marriage FAQs
Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriage because it’s tied to security, values, and control. Couples often avoid money talks to keep the peace, but silence usually makes things worse. The fix is treating money as a shared team project with regular, honest conversations.
Build a budget together, agree on a spending threshold you won’t cross without discussing, keep shared visibility into bills and accounts, set and track goals as a couple, and review your plan regularly. The goal is transparency and teamwork — not one person controlling the money.
Popular options include EveryDollar, YNAB, and Honeydue (a free app built specifically for couples). Note that Mint was discontinued in 2024, so if you used it, you’ll need to switch. Our roundup of the best apps for couples has more finance picks.
Financial stress is one of the leading contributors to divorce, but money problems don’t have to destroy a marriage. Couples who communicate openly, make a plan together, and tackle debt as a team often come through financial hardship closer than before.
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Elise, a couple of options… yes cancelling it will help you never to use it again. You can also call and request the credit limit to be dropped each time to pay a chunk. Then you still technically have it, but you dont have room to spend on it. We did that when paying one off too, we had to put money on it to use it. And when it got paid down 500-1000 we would call and ask the bank to lower our spending limit. I hope this helps. Good luck! Being out of debt will be amazing for you!
I have a question out there for anyone who may know about this…my husband and I have a credit card we are slowly paying off (not being able to find work doesn’t help, neither does my husband’s meager military salary). But I want to know that if cancelling it and paying it off that way with hurt or help my credit. What I mean is this…without the credit card, how can I build back up my good credit? Will cancelling it help us pay it off faster even though I don’t use it anymore, with the high interest rate it has? My husband wants us to keep it for emergencies but I feel like it’s a huge burden and a major temptation to spend.
If anyone can answer this I’d be one happy lady!
Love these tips, Wendy… and yes, Julie – that was an awesome video!! Cracked me up! Sheesh – some people just don’t get that advice. If you don’t have the money, DON’T buy it!! 🙂 I think that fun video would make the perfect opening when talking to your children about money as well! XOXO
Wendy you are so great and always have such great advice.
Julie- that video is hilarious! thanks for sharing!
On a helpful note, head over to the Dating Divas Community and listen to Shannon and Dino Watts talk about “Making Love and Marriage Work”. They have some excellent ideas on finances in your marriage and give great suggestions on what to be discussing with your spouse.
I love all the suggestions,and comments, but I feel like one is missing. Being charitable should be a part of everyone’s budget, in some way. If you’re interested in Dave Ramsey’s plan, he includes this also. Whether that means religious donations to you, or a cause you find for starving children or educating women in other countries or a yearly donation to your local shelter/food bank/children’s home, just make sure its something! Charity helps our budgeting by giving us perspective, and organizing our spending around priorities and less selfishness- which is the root of Most overspending/debt/credit cards.
I also really like the idea of a silly clip or something similar to break the ice in talking about a not-always-so-exciting topic with your spouse!
Great post!
Thank you for this. We do really good NOW in our home, however I think even for those that are doing well… its a great idea to have these reminders and sit down as a couple every now and then for a “check in” we try to do this once a quarter just to look at the bigger picture and change up the budget if needed to accomplish changing goals.
Great advice, Wendy!
My husband and I both took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace course when we were in college before we got married. It has saved A LOT of money arguments in our marriage. Even though we still struggle to make the right financial choices, having gone through that program put us on the same page and gave us a reference to go to when we can’t make a choice. I highly recommend it to anyone! 🙂
Great tips Wendy! I especially like the toilet paper picture:) There is a really funny Saturday Night Live clip on this topic called “Don’t Buy Stuff” which could be a good ice breaker if you need to talk about this with your spouse. Here’s the link to it on Hulu https://www.hulu.com/watch/1389
Couples shouldn’t be afraid to talk about their money situation, no matter how it looks. The one who keeps track of the finances should have a plan, and share it with their spouse (or significant other, if you’re not married yet). Uncertainty over what you even have can be worse than knowing you are running low!
As for the point you bring up with the credit cards, I couldn’t agree more. I’ve never owned a credit card – only a debit card. You can’t spend what you don’t have that way.