Today I want to share the best marriage tip I’ve heard in a long time. I love it because it’s SO easy but SO good — and I can almost guarantee you’ll notice a difference in your relationship right away, because we’ve tried it and it truly works. It costs nothing, takes about one second, and you can start today.
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Where This Marriage Tip Came From
I first heard this little gem from my dad. One thing I love about him is that he’s always teaching. Growing up, every Sunday after church he’d sit all eight of us kids down for a short lesson — we called it “daddy lecture time.” Most of us are grown and married now, but we still gather at my parents’ for a weekly potluck, and “daddy lecture time” lives on. The topics vary, but they usually circle back to marriage and family, because that’s what matters most. It was during one of these family discussions that my dad shared the tip he calls…
“Look Up and Light Up”
Here’s what it means: when you’ve been apart from your spouse — say, they’ve been at work all day — and they walk back in, stop what you’re doing, look up, and “light up.” Let them see you smile and see that you’re genuinely glad they’re home. If you can, go greet them at the door with a hug and a kiss. And if you can’t — maybe you’re knee-deep in laundry and diapers when they walk in — you can still look up and light up with your face. It’s such a small thing, but the way we welcome our spouse home has a big effect on how loved they feel, and it sets the tone for the whole evening.
Take It a Step Further
This doesn’t only apply to the big daily reunion. It works all evening long. Even if you’re both home but have been doing your own things in different rooms, when your spouse walks in — pause for a second, look up, smile, and connect with your eyes. Think about how many times a day you actually look your spouse in the eye. Too often we’re racing from one task (or one kid) to the next and we miss each other entirely. It takes a second, and it makes a big difference. Pair it with a little active listening when you do talk, and those small moments of connection really add up.
You’d be amazed at what regular eye contact and smiling can do for a marriage. Need a perfect example? Babies are great at this — they see you, light up, and reach for you, and it makes you feel like a million bucks. Little kids do it too, running up with a squeal of “Mommy!” after date night. We can do the same thing for each other: make your spouse feel like a million bucks, let them know they’re #1 in your world, and be their favorite “hello.”
Getting Back That “Honeymoon” Feeling
Chances are this came naturally at the start of your relationship. Remember when you couldn’t wait to see each other, and you lit up the second they walked in? You didn’t have to remember to smile — it just happened. Somewhere along the way, we get used to always being together and start taking it for granted. The good news: you can get that feeling back with a little intentional effort, whether you’ve been married 5 years or 50. My grandparents were the perfect example. My mom once shared this story…
Because of travel, my grandparents had been apart for about a week. Several of my aunts and uncles were gathered talking when all of a sudden grandma gave the loudest squeal and ran across the room. She tackled my grandpa, who had just walked in the door, and he picked her up and spun her in a circle, lifting her feet off the floor and covering her in kisses. They weren’t newlyweds — they were grandparents — but it was obvious how happy they were to be together again.
I just love that story. Isn’t that what we all want? The best part is, we can have it. Together can be your favorite place to be — it just takes a little intentional effort.
Try the “Look Up and Light Up” Experiment
Give it a go this week and see what happens. We even made a free printable you can cut out and frame it or stick on your mirror as a daily reminder — because we could all use one!
More Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage
- Our Best Marriage Tips
- 10 Habits of a Happy Marriage
- 10 Ways to Feel Secure in Your Marriage
- Spoil Your Spouse for 7 Days
Best Marriage Tip FAQs
One of the simplest and most powerful is ‘Look Up and Light Up’: whenever your spouse comes into the room, stop, look up, smile, and show you’re glad to see them. This small moment of warm eye contact makes your partner feel loved and sets a positive tone.
Start with one tiny, intentional habit today: greet your spouse warmly every time you reunite, and pause to make eye contact and smile when they walk by. Small, consistent gestures of connection improve how loved your partner feels almost immediately.
Regular eye contact and a genuine smile signal attention, warmth, and affection. In a busy life it’s easy to go through the day without truly connecting; a few seconds of real eye contact tells your spouse they matter and keeps you feeling close.
Recreate the excitement you had early on by being intentional: light up when your spouse enters the room, greet each other enthusiastically, and keep showing you’re glad to be together. Whether you’ve been married 5 years or 50, small daily effort keeps the spark alive.
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We love your comments
Thank you for this post! I have spent the last week or so trying this small thing. At first, my husband was worried something was wrong! haha But now we both look forward to this quick connection. Thank you!
Ha ha! I’m so glad it’s helping you connect.
THIS! Me and my husband do this, even when we are just coming back from different rooms {like it mentions}. It just is that little extra connection! So Great!
Yes! It really is the little things that can make a BIG difference!
What a beautiful story of your childhood with your dad, and Sunday potlucks with you and your sibs as adult children! I hope all my kids do the same when they’re grown (as I’ve hinted to them ?). Great marriage advice as well. ?
Thanks for your comment! I’m so blessed to have such a great dad (and family.) 🙂
Love that printable! Great tips, as always
Thanks Linda! 🙂
I was really good at this when we were first married – when he walked through the door, I dropped whatever I was doing, ran and jumped into his arms. It became a sort of ritual. I even remember him remarking about how good it made him feel once (he’s not a big talker, so it was pretty major of him to mention that). After nine years, I’ve grown more complacent and don’t do this, although I do always try to at least look up and greet him, sometimes walking over to kiss him. But thanks for the reminder of how important this is and that I need to do better at it! Great advice!
You’re so welcome. I’m the same way- I need reminders. 🙂
That printable! Love this, Becca!
I seriously LOOOOOOVE this tip!!! XOXO